Friday, June 02, 2006

Starting Monday . . .

My "summer school" will be an internship with the U.S. Attorney's Office. Should be a fascinating experience. I'm very interested in a government position after law school. This should serve as a preview.

It was nice to have a couple of weeks between semesters to catch up on some family things, to visit some house churches, and to pay more attention to Apex stuff. The real challenge starts Monday: balancing school and Apex, yet still maintaining our new-found family momentum. Buckle up -- here we go.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

More Reflections on Montana, & Other Things

The image I got from therapy in Montana is that of a tightrope. I've been walking on one for most of my life, trying to balance a couple of things that can't be balanced. My job now is to jump off the tightrope, so to speak. And if I don't please everyone, then so be it.
My tightrope walking leaves me anxious and always suspicious that I'm being taken advantage of. So I'm jumping off once and for all. Or at least I'm trying. There's obviously more to it than that, but one can only be so transparent on the old blog.

One more Glacier National Park photo here, because I can't get these incredible images out of my mind.

On Saturday we took Tori & Lucas on the Lost Creek Hike at Redrock. Cool, though not as cool as the photo above. Tori did great -- she is ready to be a hiker. Lucas enjoyed me carrying him for 3/4 of the trail. Not a bad beginning, though.

On Monday, my friend Dave from school and his fiance Carmen came by to pick up a book . We ended up hanging out for several hours and then going out to dinner. It was good to hang out with them spontaneously.

My summer school program starts soon. I'm interning 15-20 h0urs a week in the U.S. Attorney's Office. Should be a fascinating experience. I'm waiting to get my official security clearance from Washington DC before I can start (quite a process). The 15-20 hours a week will actually be one of the easier law school semesters I've had so far, which I'm looking forward to.

And, how I wish I could blog like Darren. His entry about the Cubs made me proud! That's right, the Sox can't mess with us even if we are bad. Barrett probably shouldn't have punched the guy, but at least it shows somebody on my team still cares. I like that.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

More Reflections

Question: What's more self-absorbed than having a blog?
Answer: Posting a picture of yourself on it. Enjoy the scenery at least.

We've been back for a week now, and life certainly has returned to normal in many ways. Rebekah and I both seem permanently different, though. We have had enough normal days to know that our issues are not magically gone, but we've also seen that we do have new tools and new resolve to deal with them now.

Lucas turned two. He has had no less than three birthday cakes and three celebrations now. The next picture you see of me may reflect that I have eaten parts of three birthday cakes in the last seven days!

One of the issues that we dove into in Montana was my perfectionism. Mark Odell even suggested that I intentionally "make a mistake" (or at least do less than "my best") when I start my summer internship here in a few days! That's a pretty radical suggestion for someone like me. I will translate that into trying, though, not to stress out about leaving a great impression this summer. I'm not sure I can take it as far as intentionally making a mistake, though!

I have also been focusing on slowing down since we've been back. Not just in the sense of doing less, but also in the sense of really slowing down and being in the moment of doing whatever it is that I am doing. And not worrying about the other things that are not getting done in that moment. This will get even more challenging as the schedule gets busier in the next few weeks. But so far it has been a rewarding experiment. If I have any goal for the next season of life, it is to live a truly simple life, whatever exactly that will mean.

Last (and least) a sports update: I've rooted for the Cubs faithfully every year since 1982. Though they have often been bad, this year's team, so far, looks like the worst Cub team I've ever seen. That is a radical statement. They are now 18-31, but they are frequently losing by huge margins, or losing close games because of stupid mistakes. Several of their best players have been injured, so they will get better soon. Yet they are in danger of digging such a deep hole in May that they can't get out. Not much fun.