Marriage

Rebekah and I have been married for over 10 ½ year now! That’s hard for me to believe.

In my opinion, a great majority of that time has been terrific. We are blessed with two great kids, and we have had some great adventures together along the way. As opposite as we are, we truly do see life in similar ways in many areas.

But we are also human. Rebekah was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago, and has been on a complicated journey through many medications ever since. Her ups and downs come at unexpected times. I, while never having been diagnosed with anything specific, am an intense “get things done person” who is known to commonly exhibit a mood somewhere between grumpy and grumpier on a regular basis. I am a much more tempered version of myself than I used to be, but still, there are unhealthy anxieties that brew beneath the surface and spill over into my most trusted relationships. And the last few years have had their share of stresses.

All of this can lead to tension and disharmony at times between Rebekah and me. In 2002, we took a week away from our normal lives to focus on each other. For about a year, we spent time in counseling learning how to modify certain behaviors toward each other. We attended a few weekend marriage conferences. Overall, we improved our relationships as a result.

Yet neither of us, in my opinion, have ever gotten to the bottom of our own issues. I guess nobody really ever does, though some get close. And, as a result, we are not satisfied with the way we interact with each other at times. Several weeks ago these issues became very obvious to us, and we decided that we longer want to settle for status quo, but we want to dive back in and work on things.

In mid-May, we are going to travel to northwest Montana for an intensive week at Glacier Haven, a retreat center set near Glacier National Park. Mark Odell, an experienced marriage and family therapist who was highly recommended to us, will be our guide during that week. I anticipate that the week will be meaningful and life-changing, and yet I suspect that it will only be the beginning of a renewed effort on our parts to deal with our own deeply hidden issues, and ultimately to see a transformation that will spill over into our relationship with each other.

Pray with us and for us. There is no need to panic over this. Rebekah and I both have loving people who provide us with accountability and support. We hope we can see positive change in our own lives, and who knows, perhaps encourage a few other people to do similar work.