Friday, September 19, 2003

A Strange Way to Grow
OK, it seems that living with my new insane schedule is somewhat of a spiritual lesson for me. I'm supposed to try to live the kindgom life (Matthew 5-7) in the midst of busyness and chaos. Before, I managed to live it (at least sometimes) by simplifying my schedule. Now I'm being challenged to slow down, inhale, and live this kingdom life even when everything seems nutty.

Today was a difficult step for me towards this. It may sound odd. I cancelled (or at least postponed) my weekend trip. I was going to LA to attend the Greenhouse and prepare to be a future Greenhouse teacher. Two hours before my flight was to leave, I pulled the plug. For some people, this behavior would deserve criticism. But for me I think it was a growth step. I have a hard time being irresponsible, even when I should be.

First, my autumn cold got worse as the day went on (pause for a sneeze . . . ). Second, I was going to send Rebekah by herself to pick the lot for our next house on Saturday. She agreed, but I could tell she preferred me being there with her. Third, I found out that I had misunderstood a research assignment that is due Tuesday for a law class (I thought I had it done, but turns out I totally missed the boat). With all of that swimming in my head, I called Rebekah and vented. She told me, in that female intuition kind of way, "I don't think you're supposed to go on your trip this weekend." I sensed God saying the same. So I pulled the plug.

Now I feel guilty and as if I let some people down (sorry Kaak, sorry Keith). But I think maybe I did something that was right. Weird.

Hmmm. This concludes my typewritten processing of the day's events.


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