Thursday, May 08, 2003

I am a recovering Anger-Aholic.
"Hello, my name is Greg, & I am an anger-aholic." Three years ago I started journaling about my anger and eating lunch monthly with my good friend Ernie so I could start getting better. (I never killed anybody or wrecked a car on purpose, but I have thrown a sandwich across our kitchen -- see my wife for details).

I can handle the big things. In 1991 my then fiancee called off our wedding three weeks before it was supposed to happen. No outbursts from me. I am seldom emotional in any way at funerals or when somebody I love moves away.

The little things get me, though. Tuesday morning I turned on a computer in our office to take care of some financial details. I pushed the button in, and nothing happend. So I pushed it again, and this time the computer came on, and the button fell off into the guts of the computer somewhere. This is the stuff I can't handle. I immediately freak because I know that my one-hour financial work on the computer has turned into an all-day event of finding the button which has now been swallowed by the computer. And I was skipped over when it comes to that whole mechanical ability gene.

For the first time in my life, I took a computer tower apart. First I had to go home to get tools. (Yes, I have access to tools! My dad buys them for my wife Rebekah. She lets me borrow them if I promise to bring them back to her). I mumbled obscenties under my breath, slammed a drawer, and acted like a fool, but I did get the computer apart. I eventually got to the broken button. Unable to fix it, I removed it and discovered that you can turn this computer on and off without the button as long as you have a screwdriver handy. (I am now officially becoming my father). I then put the computer back together and made nice little labels threatening anyone who would dare turn it off.

Here's another example of little things that get my goat. I have a great quote somewhere from M. Scott Peck about the fact that people like me (and him) can actually fix things. We're not really mechanically impaired, we're just ridiculously impatient. As I looked through my files for this quote, I couldn't find it quickly, which extremely pisses me off. Enough said.


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